boy, someday you'll be a man

as i'm sure you all know, i watch porn. sometimes. a lot of the time. not really. like, five times a week. which sounds terrible. but you know. whatever.
so i thought i would, i'm sure to the chagrin of some of my more delicate readers, discuss porn, and my thoughts on it.
i have no idea why i included an introductory paragraph. that's stupid.
when one first goes on to a porn site- which i avoid after a particularly unpleasant... incident- one of the first things you will see is a penis, probably several. and the second thing you'll see is a list of all the different categories the site has. usually, these lists include asian, bdsm, milf (or 'mature', if it's CLASSY PORN), young (or barely legal, or eighteen, or teen, which you should always avoid because it might be child porn), and... probably some other categories. oh, anal is usually one. and lesbian, of course. sometimes gay. usually not. (as i compile this list, i'm resisting the urge to go to an actual porn site and am instead viewing the wikipedia article entitled, 'list of pornographic sub-genres'.) oh, gross, apparently there is a category called, 'disease ridden. mainly focuses on lepers.' i can't say that this is ever a category i have happened across. which is very good.
there is also apparently 'glasses fetish' porn, which, i have also not seen, except perhaps in the 'naughty schoolteacher' capacity. which i find sort of awesome, being a glasses wearer.
but anyywayy. sometimes, when you find yourself in the darker recesses of a porn site- this can often happen if you are frequenting the bdsm section- as i often do. occasionally, porn can be really intense.
sometimes, apparently this is sort of a fetish thing, but sometimes women cry in porn, and they have mascara, like, streaming down their face, and i immediately am completely freaked out. even though i know these women are actors, and are probably fine, it sort of scares me. i don't know. generally, people crying make me uncomfortable, so that could be part of it.
also, sometimes, there are weird things, at least by my standards. sometimes, the girls get, like, stabbed, and it's super weird. i don't know how to describe it. it's not like someone comes up and knifes them or anything... it's like when, their skin gets punctured? sometimes with like, needles. or... i don't know. i have a very poor memory for porn. it just freaks me out. so usually i just close the window and go to a different site, but occasionally for whatever reason, i keep watching- and the way porn works is it keeps getting more intense, and usually she cries, and it's just terrible, and not at all erotic. and i sort of get this feeling that i think is closest to the time when i was five or six and i killed this bug. and i didn't, just, squish it, i sort of almost tortured it? it was like a maggot. and i killed it. and there was, like, blood on the table. and then i cried. not after i finished watching porn. that would be weird. after i killed the bug. and i don't know, the feeling is like that, somehow.
what a weird blog post this is. hilariously, the blogger spellchecker claims thatspellcheck, blog, and blogger are not words.
anyway. goodbye.