Dearest Teacher,

You are very mean. I don’t think you realize this, but you are.

Every time I try to ask you a question, you either do not listen very well and answer a question that has not been asked, or act very dismissive as though the answer to this is very obvious, even though you are a TEACHER and we are LEARNING this material. I think you have even said to me on multiple occasions, “Come on, this is pretty basic stuff.” I don’t think you understand how unhelpful and flat-out mean that is. I am FUCKING TRYING. And you sure as fuck don’t make it easy. I don’t understand why you think it would help someone to say that.

I don’t know why you would think it would help me to write on my paper, “THIS IS COMMON SENSE”. I don’t know why you would be so fucking angry with me when I SHOULD BE ANGRY BECAUSE THIS IS MY FUCKING GRADE. It has no fucking effect on you, which is pretty clear from the daily way that you demonstrate NOT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT ME OR MY GRADE OR MY FUCKING FEELINGS.

I don’t fucking know why you would write “ASK ME, GODDANGIT!” (emphasis yours) when I write in a lab that we didn’t do something because we didn’t know how. FIRST OF ALL, WE COMPLETED THIS ASSIGNMENT AT FUCKING HOME BECAUSE YOU SURE DIDN’T GIVE US ENOUGH FUCKING TIME IN FUCKING CLASS TO DO THE FUCKING SHIT. SECOND OF ALL, WHEN I STAYED AFTER TO FINISH IT YOU WEREN’T EVEN FUCKING. THERE.  I don’t understand why you would fucking say that my process is “FUNDAMENTALLY FLAWED”  when I, responding to why I think the data might be a certain way, that it “could perhaps” be because the sensor skipped a few fucking bars on the goddamn fucking piece of plastic.

IT’S PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT I UNDERSTAND THIS GODDAMN INFORMATION DESPITE YOUR BEST FUCKING EFFORTS, BECAUSE I KEEP GETTING 100+ ON ALL YOUR TESTS. So it seems to me that basically the only reason why I keep getting shitty grades on these GODDAMNED LABS is that you have all these fucking idiosyncracies about fucking spacing, and WHO THE FUCK ACTUALLY TAKES OFF POINTS for INCLUDING a data table in the write up because it is already included in the packet, which I had no fucking way of knowing would be turned in with the assignment. IN FACT, I would really have no goddamn way of knowing that you want spaces between questions, would I? BECAUSE YOU NEVER GIVE A FUCKING RUBRIC. SO I HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA WHY YOU WOULD GIVE ME A FUCKING 80 ON SOMETHING WHEN I SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN 14/15 FUCKING QUESTIONS RIGHT.

AND HEY? GUESS WHAT ELSE ISN’T FUCKING HELPFUL? You actually calling me out into the hallway at the beginning of class to tell me what a fucking shitty job I did on something, even though you already wrote on my paper that this is “WRONG” (emphasis yours) and, as I already noted, “COMMON SENSE” (emphasis yours). THANKS, CRYING FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE CLASS PERIOD REALLY HELPS ME IMPROVE AND LEARN.

EXCEPT FOR HOW IT FUCKING DOESN’T.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT TRAUMATIC EVENT IN YOUR CHILDHOOD CAUSES YOU TO WANT TO EMOTIONALLY EVISCERATE TEENAGE GIRLS WHO PREVIOUSLY BROUGHT HOME TWO MEDALS FOR YOUR BORING AND DIFFICULT EXTRACURRICULAR COMPETITION AND ALSO FREQUENTLY VOLUNTEERS TO HELP OUT WITH THAT SAID BORING EXTRACURRICULAR.

JUST BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT YOU WERE NICE AND WANTED TO HELP YOU. I sure as fuck won’t make that tragic mistake again.

LITERALLY EVERY TIME I EMAIL YOU FOR HELP you don’t reply at all or reply about an hour before school starts the day the assignment I am asking about is do. AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUCKING CHAIR OF THE GODDAMN FUCKING SCIENCE DEPARTMENT?

YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING SCIENCE TEACHER EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE LADY WHO IS RACIST. You only get to be chair because you are old and have a PhD.

Your class does not make me want to be a scientist. Your class does not make me like science, or school, or learning, or you, or life in general. It makes me want to sob hysterically and give up on all my ambitions because you are JUST THAT EFFECTIVE OF A BULLY. So, congratulations!

P.S. You are the worst teacher I have ever met, a fucking asshole and I hate you.

P.P.S. There are a lot more horrible things I have to say about you but I don't even remember some of them in my blinding rage.