apparently, i am in a blogging sort of mood. so, that's a thing.
and, at the risk of boring my audience of one or perhaps two, i am a vulva crusader. i am a labia nazi. okay- so here's the thing- vagina and vulva are two different things. vulva refers to the external female genitals. vagina refers to the internal bits, the part that a penis, or a tampon, or a sex toy goes into. THIS IS NO TIME TO BE BASHFUL. this is important to me. even my very own, relatively intelligent friends have absolutely no idea what a vulva even is. until i brought it up, they had never even HEARD the term. isn't that the saddest thing ever? i think so.
today, a friend of mine is being absolutely vexatious. he isn't letting anyone post on his facebook wall. it is his birthday. so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him. from me.
vexatious, i tell you! vexatious is an excellent vocabulary word that everyone should add to their adjective lexicon.
its actually four in the morning so i have nothing else to talk about.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
tender moments, at cathedral, children praying, embracing with angels
hello, how are you?
i'm doing well. i hope you are too. anywayyyssss...
it's been a while.
today i got an iphone. i am so in love. i am officially an apple fangirl, to the disappointment of my father, a diehard linux geek. IT'S JUST SO DAMN SHINY!
anyway. i read some transromer, a little bit of roach, some freud, and other things. i'm having a nice vacation. i went over to a friend's house, and tomorrow i'm going to a christmas party.
yesterday, one of my friends told me that there's a boy in one of our classes who tries really hard to impress me, but i couldn't imagine why, so i asked her. and she said that he wants me to think that he's smart, and i do, in fact. i wondered, though, why he would care so much what i specifically think of him, and she told me that i'm often very intimidating, ''when someone first meets [me]'', intellectually. which, is good, i guess? but i genuinely was not aware that i had that affect on people. i know i can sometimes accidentally make people feel bad- there's that aspergers!- but, i feel like these other people- this boy, for one- have so many other things going for them; they're very well-liked, usually, certainly more well-liked than i. (i often hesitate to use the word popular just because it's such a cliche)
so that's something in my life.
i don't know. also, i got my friends their christmas presents. i think they like them. sometimes, it's sort of a pain in the ass to pick out presents, but i usually feel as though it is worth it. usually. there's also always at least one person who gets me, like, a really nice gift, and i haven't gotten them anything, and then i have to keep EVERYONE'S present and give them to them privately but in the moment lie and say that i haven't gotten presents yet so that i can run out and get one for this girl. and of course, it did happen. oh well.
there's an old alice in wonderland quote that goes, 'it's better to be respected than loved.', from the red queen. i feel like perhaps i am more respected than loved, generally. i don't know, though, that one is better than the other. i imagine that i if i were more loved i would desire respect. i'm sure it's possible to have both, and of course to some extent i do, but generally... not.
my mother told me a funny story the other day- i like to describe my upbringing as vaguely christian, and i feel like this sort of anecdote supports that. so anyways, apparently one day we were all outside at night, and i pointed to the sky and said, 'look mommy! it's the jesus star!' and my mother was like, 'what?', and i was like, 'jesus lives there.'
and she was like, 'oh. sure.'
i had many things to say before i actually opened this window, but somehow all those concepts get away from me somehow.
i'm doing well. i hope you are too. anywayyyssss...
it's been a while.
today i got an iphone. i am so in love. i am officially an apple fangirl, to the disappointment of my father, a diehard linux geek. IT'S JUST SO DAMN SHINY!
anyway. i read some transromer, a little bit of roach, some freud, and other things. i'm having a nice vacation. i went over to a friend's house, and tomorrow i'm going to a christmas party.
yesterday, one of my friends told me that there's a boy in one of our classes who tries really hard to impress me, but i couldn't imagine why, so i asked her. and she said that he wants me to think that he's smart, and i do, in fact. i wondered, though, why he would care so much what i specifically think of him, and she told me that i'm often very intimidating, ''when someone first meets [me]'', intellectually. which, is good, i guess? but i genuinely was not aware that i had that affect on people. i know i can sometimes accidentally make people feel bad- there's that aspergers!- but, i feel like these other people- this boy, for one- have so many other things going for them; they're very well-liked, usually, certainly more well-liked than i. (i often hesitate to use the word popular just because it's such a cliche)
so that's something in my life.
i don't know. also, i got my friends their christmas presents. i think they like them. sometimes, it's sort of a pain in the ass to pick out presents, but i usually feel as though it is worth it. usually. there's also always at least one person who gets me, like, a really nice gift, and i haven't gotten them anything, and then i have to keep EVERYONE'S present and give them to them privately but in the moment lie and say that i haven't gotten presents yet so that i can run out and get one for this girl. and of course, it did happen. oh well.
there's an old alice in wonderland quote that goes, 'it's better to be respected than loved.', from the red queen. i feel like perhaps i am more respected than loved, generally. i don't know, though, that one is better than the other. i imagine that i if i were more loved i would desire respect. i'm sure it's possible to have both, and of course to some extent i do, but generally... not.
my mother told me a funny story the other day- i like to describe my upbringing as vaguely christian, and i feel like this sort of anecdote supports that. so anyways, apparently one day we were all outside at night, and i pointed to the sky and said, 'look mommy! it's the jesus star!' and my mother was like, 'what?', and i was like, 'jesus lives there.'
and she was like, 'oh. sure.'
i had many things to say before i actually opened this window, but somehow all those concepts get away from me somehow.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
we own the night, we'll never forget how it feels to be young
On Friday I had a sleepover with two good friends of mine. We had it at the home of the friend who lives further away from myself and the other friend. It's amazing how different the places we live are. We walked to the cult on her road and then we lay down on the asphalt.
Sometimes, when I think about the absolute inevitability of the death of myself and everyone I've ever known, I wonder if anything matters. Shortly after this thought, I think that everything matters- because if it didn't, why would I be doing it? I think that this is perhaps the best answer I will ever come up with, even after reading a novel entitled 'Everything Matters!' about that very topic.
These are the things I thought about while lying in the middle of the road. These sorts of realizations tend to come to you when you are at least somewhat risking your life.
After a moment lying in the road I sat up and looked around. My friend lives between two horse pastures. Everything is grass or trees there. I screamed just because I wanted to, and then we all screamed. One of the horses came running towards us, but just before it ran into the fence it stopped and stared.
I think lying in the middle of the road is probably the most interesting that has happened to me in a long time. I wonder if that says more about me or the place that I live?
Sometimes, when I think about the absolute inevitability of the death of myself and everyone I've ever known, I wonder if anything matters. Shortly after this thought, I think that everything matters- because if it didn't, why would I be doing it? I think that this is perhaps the best answer I will ever come up with, even after reading a novel entitled 'Everything Matters!' about that very topic.
These are the things I thought about while lying in the middle of the road. These sorts of realizations tend to come to you when you are at least somewhat risking your life.
After a moment lying in the road I sat up and looked around. My friend lives between two horse pastures. Everything is grass or trees there. I screamed just because I wanted to, and then we all screamed. One of the horses came running towards us, but just before it ran into the fence it stopped and stared.
I think lying in the middle of the road is probably the most interesting that has happened to me in a long time. I wonder if that says more about me or the place that I live?
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